worlds best grandma

i just wanna kiss emma watson

01 02 03 04


malkiewicz:

You’re going to see those “before and after” bios of me where it’ll read, "Michael Malkiewicz dropped out of school to pursue a career in comedy, he now works at Marshall’s where he remains today". 




religiousdad:

Thanks for coming tonight. This next song is called “fuck you mom why won’t you buy me new beats headphones I spilled my drink all over the first pair and since you made the drink for me it means you’re obligated to buy me a new pair you’re such a bitch I hate you”








svveden:

sick……




valetti:

versacemon:

Good bye

this made me snort something fierce  




anus:

awh there’s a ladybug on my screen






scotsmcall:

zaynyboy:

ok but literally how






homohustle:

jotarokujo:

what if the new animal species we discover each year are actually being dropped off by aliens? like they have an over abundance of yeti crabs or something and so they brought some to earth because they knew we’d get a kick out of this

image

This is the cutest conspiracy theory I’ve ever heard




dragondicks:

cupsnake:

Pepper and friends explore where no chickens have gone before as far as she knows in her nugget box space ship. Tiny pretend space explorers!

these chicken nuggets are fucking raw get me the manager




obsessiforge:

nanenna:

madokasmagical:

Okay but consider this: mermaids in space

Space mermaids? As in: alien mermaids that live in the vacuum of space and swim between the stars? A setting that uses the analogy of deep space as the open ocean but keeps all the sea monsters? DO WANT!!

Luring astronauts into black holes with a song that carries across the void where no one can hear you scream




nosdrinker:

you’re insecure

don’t know what for

let the bodies hit the floor





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